An excerpt from:
by Invincible Victoria
THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE CRAZY
Chances are if you signed-up for speed-dating already, you’re down with the idea. But there are plenty of people I know who should be getting involved and putting themselves in a position other than being bent over a computer screen. So for you (yes you!) who believes there’s a serial killer in the room, this next chapter is for you!
THEY SAY THE PRETTY ONES ARE CRAZY: WHAT IF THEY ARE SERIAL KILLERS
My mother’s disapproval of attending such events led to a conversation. She brought up an excellent point about crazies in the room. She said, “How do you know you’re not sitting across from a serial killer?!” Say what?! Then she continued, “…after all, Ted Bundy was charming, charismatic, and … (drumroll) … handsome?!…. “
Really?! I’m writing about serial killers at a speed-dating event?! This is what my book has been reduced to?! I refuse! Or so I thought.
When I posted this topic for feedback on my Facebook feed (you can find me at @InvincibleVictoria) believing it would be wildly amusing, surprisingly it garnered approving responses from many of my lady friends who felt the same as my mother. I was pretty much shocked at their curiosity and similar train of thought. Jokingly I told my mother she would probably get friend requests after I tried to sell her out and – she did! (uhg!)
Logically speaking, I felt it necessary to entertain the thought serial killers exist in this setting and to share perspective about what seems to now be a legitimate concern. So, I had to ask myself, ‘if I were a serial killer, would I hang out in a group of people, with my name, contact information, and a list of other names of everyone I’ve met that night on record so that everything was traceable and in a database? Would I chance being video recorded and taking selfies with people I just met? Nothing is foolproof but that’s a lot of extra effort to go through for a serial killer. Especially since there’s no instant gratification here and most everyone tells someone they’re going to a speed-dating event. (Or at least they should.)
This set-up is even worse for male serial killers looking to isolate their victims because girls go in packs. The forensic sketch artists would have a field day drawing the same guy over and over and over again from all the different events. I think we all watched a little too much CSI, Law & Order, and Criminal Minds. Like for real!
I’m pretty sure there’s not much traceable information from all the general networking events you’ve attend in the past decade, is there? Yet, you’re still here… right?
I’m not a serial killer so I can’t say for sure however, in the history of ever, the only information I can find on serial killers and speed-dating events (as I mentioned earlier) is a twisted theater in LA that created a real event where people dressed up in theatrical gore for a performance and speed-dating event combined. So… I’m just saying.
A NOTE FOR THE SERIAL KILLER IN THE ROOM
Dear Mister / Miss Serial Killer,
If you’re looking for your next victim … you’ll have to wait it out. This isn’t an ideal setting for you. Study your predecessors because speed-dating is much too much of a process. There’s no instant gratification here. Worse, the suspect list (and police) will be coming straight to you. You’d only get one good kill in before a pattern emerged making this a really bad venue for that sort of thing. Find somewhere else to be. (Or, a better idea! Stop being a serial killer. It doesn’t help the world or your soul. It’s kinda a really terrible thing).
WHY ARE YOU HERE & NOT ONLINE?
In a completely non-scientific experiment of asking people their feelings about speed-dating and if they’d be open to it, more often than not was a wrinkle of the nose followed by questioning why anyone would do this in today’s world with so many technology apps available to do the same thing. Ironically, these are also the same people who end up attending because so much time was wasted online. Additionally, paying to attend an event weeds out the broke people and the phonies looking for online emotional intimacy and not real-life intimacy.
Some people, just like you, enjoy real human connection. It’s hard to be intuitive, engaged, and give undivided attention on an app. Additionally, it’s not really that much fun to fall in love with your computer screen. There’s something missing..
Attraction is an art form. It’s not always instant but, it can be created. Ever seen that 300-pound dude with the beautiful blonde? How do you think that happened? Hint: It’s not always money!
Not everything is on a physical level. There is definitely something to be said for emotional and spiritual connection.
In the same way, unlike Match.com, PlentyofFish, and other online sites where you fill out a profile, throw up a few pictures, and answer a series of questions with answers you think others want to hear to make you more desirable and then base a series of carefully crafted fantasy and emotional-intimacy laced emails to one another that have been edited, thought-through, and filtered (or worse, not filtered!). Speed-dating cuts to the chase and presents an in-person opportunity with someone who is asked to respond to you in real-time. Finally! True-colors get shown!
Social Apps can be frustrating and time-sucking with endless chatter that goes nowhere, or filled with constant buildups and letdowns which I call the hidden side-effects of technology-based dating programs.
No one wants to read endless resumes at work to find the next candidate for the position the same way no one wants to read millions of profiles only to learn in person after months of anticipation there’s a vibe that doesn’t fit with the rest of the tribe.
So, if you think getting ready for countless Tinder dates and dropping enormous amounts of time, money, and energy on people who don’t pan out is over-rated and exhausting, then you’re going to love having all your potential hopefuls lined up in the same room!
Besides, I think there’s a much higher probability of meeting serial killers on Tinder and online-dating sites with fake profiles and names and identities where you feel safe sharing intimate details about your life with this false idea of safety. Online dating in reality means people can find your location, lure you with emotional intimacy, and pretend to be someone they’re not right in front of you. [Really, a picture on a profile is all we need to believe who someone is? Hmm…]
It’s true technology changed the way we date. Yet, here we are openly trusting of others who could be collecting data about us to share with strangers who have the ability to approach us with a friendly smile at any given time anywhere in the world. Note: Collecting public info online and then sending the right kind of charmer to talk to their victim and to emotionally manipulate people based on the info they already have on hand from social media is how human trafficking and our children and teenagers get taken! So, be aware!!!!!!!! It can happen to teenage boys the same as teenage girls. It can happen to the single mom with pictures of her kids with perpetrators looking for women with children they can exploit. It can happen. If nothing else, remember this for the people you care about. In person, there’s a vibe. Online, all guards are down on account of false security.
Perhaps it’s time to get back to the basics. Back to real life. Back to face-to-face interaction.
The best part about face-to-face interaction is that you can feel the awkwardness, uneasiness, or the good vibes instantaneously. Our bodies respond naturally to others energy, spirit, and physical presence.
Be in-tune. Stay in control.
Ready to by the book? https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07JX4S75W
So, are you ready to find love that fits? ….Uncover what you truly want verses what you think you want? ….and acknowledge the blocks and self-sabotage keeping you from what you desire most?
Would you like to move from feeling like you’re attracting the crazies to attracting someone who’s ready for what you have to offer when it comes to dating & relationships!
I work with women just like you helping you to gain clarity about the real deal dating challenges you’re facing and not succumb to self-limiting beliefs. I think it’s time to discover the lies you may be telling yourself keeping you from happiness and understand your personal blocks to gain clarity on patterns keeping you from finding love that fits the lifestyle you wish to enjoy…
Visit me online at InvincibleVictoria.com for more details or Book a Consultation today! Because isn’t it time you find the confidence you need to know you are in control of sex, love, and rock n’ roll …. and always have been! Look for my 90-Min Intensive! It comes complete with a personalized Blueprint which is yours to keep and you can go back to it time and time again to make sure when you meet someone, you will have everything you need to navigate making sure you’re getting what you want for you! – XoXo -I*V